Okay. I’m going to try and not write a book right now about everything in my life, so I’ll just make points and if you care to know more, let me know.
* MY NIECE IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE AS ALWAYS. :) AHHH she’s getting so big. mehh I need to see you again soon! I’m trying to find matching outfits for us to wear. haha. I’ll probably go the route of finding someone to make us matching skirts or something, but I need something that will be warm for winter. :)
* I am addicted to IG shops. I had no idea these things existed until a couple weeks ago and yeah I am addicted. People post the clothes they have and sell them. It’s crazy cool. I bought a pair of seven7 leopard print shorts (new with tags) for $18 (including shipping!!) I plan to open a shop this weekend to sell some of my clothes because I have SO MANY that I never wear and I could use some extra caaaaash. I just have to figure out the weighing/postage/paypal/invoices thing.
* I completely missed the 20th of September. Each month since I lost the baby I reflect on the 20th (because I lost her (him?) on 4/20). I can’t believe it. It was like the 23rd and I thought, ‘OMG I missed the 20th!’
* I spent my 25th birthday at American Girl in Tysons Corner. My mom and I went with my 6 dolls to eat at the bistro. I had so much fun! The food was delicious! And yeahh hahaha. Then I had planned to do something big at night because I was the big 2-5 but I ended going out to dinner real late with the boyf (and I hardly touched my food bc I was stuffed from lunch) and then we just went home to bed. I lead a sad life…
* I’m applying for grad school! I don’t know, I was talking to my mom one day and she was like ‘well why don’t you look into taking some classes.’ So I looked, and I found this program at GWU that sounds AMAZE-BALLS and I’m applying for the spring semester. Forensic investigation! So stoked! Good luck to meeeeeeee getting in!
* Still at my lame job and EVERYONE is leaving me! :( My boyf got a new job and he’s already about to be promoted. lucky duck. And this girl I was kind of friends with kind of just dropped off the face of the planet and never came back to work. And then this other guy just got fired today. Like wtf?! Now I need new friends…
* My parents are in Europe right now and I’m super jelly belly. But I’ll go next year sometime! Hopefully… :)
* I’m doing really bad with working out. I was doing really well, going home after work and taking a nap and then I would head to the gym for a few hours each night. BUT I’ve been staying at my parents since they are out of town and the gym isn’t near them. And the boyf has been staying with so it’s nice to just relax and spend time with him. Ughhh but I have a 10 miler coming up October 21 and I need to get my ass out running or I will die!
* I’m working on this logo of a mermaid for my cousin’s new business venture…yeah I suck at drawing. So anywhoo right now it looks a lot like the little mermaid (probably because I traced it :]) but I’m much better at digital stuff so I’m editing it a bit here and there so it looks different!
I think that’s mostly it! Blahhhhhh
My birthday is Friday! Yayy for 25!!
I’m actually doing pretty well. Depressed and crying on the drive home from vacation back in August, but I’ve been happier recently. Not like SUPER happy, but I haven’t let anything get me down really. Yayyy for happiness!
Last week I lost 5 pounds, but then gained it all back over the weekend. I was basically starving myself and it was really difficult. And then I would go to the gym at night for a couple hours and not leave until I was drenched in sweat! But then Friday I had Chinese at my boyfriends and then we went to Waffle House for breakfast Saturday. And then it just got worse from there! Ughh :( I just want to drop some lbs!!
In other news, I follow this girl on instagram and she’s depressed and always posting about cutting and will post pictures of the cuts and blood and she hasn’t posted anything in a week! I know that’s not a long time, but I’m kind of worried. I’ve been following her since sort of the beginning and before she started cutting and all. I thought things were going well because she was talking about her beset guy friend that she really liked and she found out he liked her back and she was always happy when she talked about him, but he has a girlfriend so that tore her up. And she was doing good, a few days (I think 6) clean and then she posted that she had 40 some new scars on her from cutting and it made me sad. Now that she hasn’t posted in a while, I’m worried. I’m really hoping she’s okay and that maybe she’s just busy with school starting and all.
Tumblr. Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Buhh bye until my birthday in September.
I want to not give a fuck about everyone around me being happy with their lives and doing shit I can’t.
I’m going to run this depression into the ground and make 25 and on awesome and happy!
See ya in a few!
WELP I am starving myself, hitting the gym and tanning bed every day til my birthday. Gotta look good for 25.
This is my mom (in 78?).
That is the outfit I am trying to fit into by my birthday (a little less than a month away).
I’ve never fit into the shorts. The top is a little tight right now.
Oh yeah, and she’s about 3 months preggo here…
I just set this as the wallpaper on my phone to remind and motivate me to stretch and workout every day!
Last night I cried myself to sleep and then on my way home from vacation today I just balled to my boyfriend.
I was watching Sweet Home Alabama and I knew the scene was going to come (in the dog cemetary, jake and melanie talking about the baby they lost) and make me sad but I watched it anyway.
Melanie said she was relieved. And that’s how I feel. I was in tears telling my boyfriend that I don’t want to grow up. I’m scared to get older. 25 doesn’t really scare me, but what about 30? 40? 50?!?! Ughh
My life just sucks right now and I want it to get better. I want to live, but I also want to die because I fear getting older and getting married and raising a family and being old with teenagers and grandkids.
Omg okay byeee
Ughh my calendar app for my periods was updated and now it’s predicting TWO periods and TWO ovulation days/weeks. What the fuck?! Now I am confused, but I guess I will just base next months off this month’s and hopefully it’ll straighten itself out. Mehh
Or minor convulsions? I think I had one the other night, but can’t really remember now. I had been drinking a lot and then had 1/4 of a weed brownie. I went to bed before I started feeling too sick, but then I woke up about 4 hours later to go to the bathroom. When I was in there, I was sitting with my head hanging to the side because I felt like I was gonna puke. As far as I can remember my head and right arm started shaking for 5-10 seconds. It was pretty short, but I was scared. So I got up and all, walked out of the bathroom and my boyfriend said I just fell to the ground and must have blacked out for a second. Then he got me into the bedroom, and it was so cold! I was sweating after my “convulsions” and I just laid on the floor and asked my boyfriend to wipe off the sweat, but he told me I wasn’t sweating…
And yeah, just wondering if anyone has ever had a seizure or a similar experience like this because I have no idea what happened.
ughh I’m a little behind on this news, but I just read that the mom of the 6 year old who was shot in Colorado also miscarried due to trauma from being shot in the stomach.
this is horrible. she must be devastated. omg.